Thursday, April 29, 2010

Two Weeks and 4.5 lbs Down!!

Tonight is Week 3 of my class and so of course this morning was my weigh in day. I was not as excited to do it because I had not been as good as I should have been this past week. Don't get me wrong, I still ate A LOT less, but there were a few days when I felt like I definitely could have done better. It's funny too because I also was in my car a lot less and so I didn't listen to the cd's like I had the previous week as much either. I did read the Weighdown Chronicles everyday and watched some YouTube videos to try to keep my inspired but I think the audio cd's really make a big difference for sure to help to keep me focused. I know I need to get into my Breakthrough book and journal more this week as well because I noticed the days I did and read the Bible verses it also really helped.

So I weighed this morning and I had lost another 1.5 pounds!! To see the scale going DOWN is such a good feeling!! I'm a work in process and I'm hoping this coming week I can really start to fine tune everything. I know I need to get into my journal and book more and I know I need to pray more. I sometimes feel like I want to disappear for an entire day by myself somewhere so I can just be alone! I know most women (especially moms) feel that way but lately I've been feeling it more and more! I LOVE being with my baby boy and am so blessed to be able to work from home so I can be, but I feel like it's so hard to have alone time! When he finally goes down for his nap I'm usually trying to get caught up on work and then before I know it he's back up. I just want time totally to myself to get into everything and really be able to pray for everyone and everything so this week I'm really going to try to figure out the absolute best time for me so that I can focus each day for at least an hour.

Here is one of the bible verses from my book this week that really stood out:

Romans 8:5-8
Those who live according to sinful nature have their minds set on what that nature desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires. The mind of sinful man is death, but the mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace; the sinful mind is hostile to God. It does not submit to God's law, nor can it do so. Those controlled by the sinful nature cannot please God.

Yikes! I do NOT want to be controlled by the sinful nature because it would terrify me to not be pleasing to God. I want to continue to learn and grow closer to Him every day and to try to please Him in everything I do!

Thursday, April 22, 2010

THE SCALE MOVED!!!

I feel like skipping and doing cartwheels this morning! Today was the day I decided I would weigh since I have my online class tonight and when I stepped on the scale holding my breath and feeling REALLY nervous, it all went away when it showed I had lost THREE pounds in less then a week!!! I cannot even put into words how excited I am! When I first started this blog last September and was focused on jogging and figuring out ways to boost my metabolism and all of the wrong things and I ended up SO frustrated! After about three months of jogging 6 days a week faithfully every morning, I had finally decided to face my fears and weigh myself again and I had GAINED two pounds!! I know weight can fluctuate a couple of pounds but I will never forget how utterly frustrated and desperate I felt! I felt like throwing my hands into the air and giving up. Which is exactly what I did at the time because I stopped jogging all together. I thought to myself "if it's not going to do one bit of good then why do it?".

So needless to say, the truth about weight loss that I knew after my first Weighdown class years ago but had choose to forget is true! This past week I have been praying every day that God would show me how to stay within HIS boundaries of hunger and fullness and not to overeat and He has! I have been eating A LOT less as a result and I haven't worked out even once. I haven't counted a calorie or fat gram or even put a thought into what I have eaten. When I was hungry, I would eat what sounded good to me at that time. If it was chocolate, I ate it, just in small amounts. I've had pizza, spaghetti, burritos and nachos. I've just been eating at least HALF of what I used to eat and when it was hard for me to stop eating I would say a quick prayer for strength and God gave it to me! I am learning how to change my passion for food so before when I used to go to food to try to make me feel better and fill up my heart I now am going to God instead. It's not stomach hunger we have most of the time but a hunger in our hearts and food is a temporary pick-me-up.

I also had a couple of funny God-incidences (that's what Gwen calls them) too that literally made me laugh out loud so I will share one in particular:
Last Saturday I had been craving ice cream all day long but I didn't have any and I didn't want to buy any either because that is one of my main weaknesses and I didn't want to push it. Well by the time Saturday night rolled around I couldn't take it anymore so I thought that maybe I just wouldn't eat dinner at all and then I could go to Smiths and get a pint of my fav ice cream in the whole world; Mint Moose Tracks. I went and got it knowing that I was going to eat the entire thing because I could never stop with that one EVER in the past. When I got home and got Toby to sleep me and Robb sat down to watch a movie and I got out my pint of ice cream feeling excited but knowing in the back of my mind that I shouldn't eat it all yet also knowing that I would because I wouldn't be able to stop with it. I just got my little spoon and got settled on the couch next to my hubby and as I looked down and went to dig in I stopped dead in my tracks. The entire pint was freezer burnt! There were little crystallized ice all over it. At first I thought it wasn't true so I still dug in and tried to see if it was just on top. OH NO! It was the ENTIRE thing! I literally laughed out loud at how funny God thought he was but then I thanked Him that he cares about me SO much and wants to see me succeed at this that he would do that! I know it was not just chance that I had got a freezer burnt one. I've bought those a million times and have never had a freezer burnt one in that brand before. It was God taking care of me! What an awesome God we have! :) I feel like I can see the light at the end of the tunnel again, and guess what? IT'S GOD!! :)
Jesus replied, "What is impossible with men is possible with God." Luke 18:27

Saturday, April 17, 2010

A Wake up Call!!

I started the online class on Thursday night and I am really excited about it! As I was watching it I was feeling like everything is SO obvious and it reminded me of all of the things that I learned in the first class I did a few years ago but have not been applying. It really helped me to realize that I do over analyze everything and really it's SO simple:

"If your stomach is not growling, YOU DON'T EAT!!" A true physiological stomach growl is the ONLY thing that can turn on your mouth on to eat! It's not rocket science! God designed us this way! This is how animals eat and even our children. Food is only supposed to be FUEL for our bodies. We are supposed to ONLY eat when we're hungry and STOP when we're "politely full". What we eat does not matter!!!

The typical weight loss program suggests loosing weight through diet and exercise. This way suggests that if you loose the passion for the food the result will be eating less and therefore loosing weight PERMANENTLY! God didn't put yummy food on this earth to torture us! It's my heart toward the food that needs to change and only when that happens will I ever be permanently thin! Eating between hunger and fullness and ONLY between hunger and fullness is the will of God! All overeating is GREEDY and greed is idolatry! I had a hard time truly believing this the first time around and instead bought into Satan's lies over the last few years and that is why I am still overweight! When I stop being greedy I will stop overeating.

For of this you can be sure: No immoral, impure or greedy person—such a man is an idolater—has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God. - Eph. 5:5

So here's what I'm working on to change my heart and weight right now:

1) Praying praying praying that God will rule over me and that I can learn to completely surrender to his will and not my own by trying to learn to let go of the control that I feel like I need to have over food and let go of the steering wheel.
3) I'm learning to anticipate attacks from Satan before they happen so I'm prepared and strong.
4) I'm cutting all my portions in half and using a smaller plate to put my food on in the first plate.
5) NO GROWL- NO EATING!!! That alone will cut out a lot of unnecessary snacking and calories.
6) OBEY IN FULL! God is going to rule over my body, mind and soul!

Overeating causes disease, shame, heart problems, diabetes and on and on and on...I have a lot I want to do in this lifetime and I need to be healthy to do it!

Needless to say I've been going about this entire thing all wrong which I already knew in the back of my mind. Maci is not the key to my weight loss. God is! That is why I am changing my entire blog from Maci to God. I need to give credit and focus where it's truly due and it is God that loves me and has always taken care of me, not a mannequin or any other material thing on this earth! God has always given me peace and freedom from whatever I've needed and now I need Him to free me from the bondage and slavery of overeating and I know if there's anything in this world I can count on- it's Him!!

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Weigh Down Tonight

Okay, I am SO excited because I signed up for an online Weighdown workshop advanced class. That is the program I talked about a while ago that taught me how to start changing my attitude and relationship with eating all together and really made me change a lot of my previous bad habits. They now have a more advanced class that really goes deep into your heart and soul to continue to learn how to completely let go of any strongholds or idols that you still may be holding onto, whether it be overeating, smoking, drinking, etc. by learning to turn to God instead of strongholds. Anyway, the class starts tonight and it's an online 8 week course and I'm so excited to start it! I will be blogging and sharing about it as I go which I'm looking forward to as well. I feel like I'll be "killing two birds with one stone"; Loose weight and getting more spiritually in tune with God too! What better way to do it?! :)

"A safe stronghold our God is still, A trusty shield and weapon." -Martin Luther

Sunday, April 11, 2010

Back in the Saddle Again!!

Okay, so it's been a few months, I'll admit. I had a lot going on in my life after the holidays ended and even thinking about loosing weight just was not a high priority on my list of things to do, although it of course was always weighing heavy (like me) on the back of my mind.

My plan was to get through the holidays and then really tackel my goals once and for all and start getting the weight off! Well what ended up happening instead was that January hit and me and my hubby decided we needed to get away to somewhere sunny so we left to sunny Cancun and were there for only two days when tradegy struck our family and we lost someone that we loved and was very dear to all of us. Let's just say, that put me just about out of commission of caring about anything else (especially my weight) for a while. Then right when I started to come out of that haze just a bit I then found out I was pregnant. I was super excited about that because we were hoping to get pregnant sometime this year. I just didn't think it was going to happen so soon. Once I found out I was pregnant I just figured that I would put Maci away along with my blog until I had the baby and was ready to get going on my weight loss journey again.

I miscarried just less then two weeks ago I am just starting to come to terms with that now and am once again looking at myself long and hard. I've decided that if I'm not going to be pregnant then I'm going to be getting in shape instead and making healthy choices so that when I do get pregnant again, I will be as healthy as possible. That takes me back to Maci and my blog so here I am back in the blogging world and pretty excited about it! Afterall, Spring is here which represents rebirth and renewal so what better time to get started again then now?!

I went down into my dirty basement last week and cleaned it all out, dusted off all of my workout equipment and cleaned off my white board so I can start fresh with writing down my goals again on it. I also got online and ordered a really cute outfit for Maci and I am moving her down in the basement where I will work out every day. I will be taking new pictures and posting them soon. I've talked to Jennie and we are going to do a Curves type workout because I have so much equipment. We figured we'll do 10 minutes at 6 stations and when we've got through them all we'll have worked out for an hour! I also want to do the 9 day Isagenix cleanse as well that I was planning on doing after the holidays. I just need to order a couple of things to start.

So, me and Maci are back and she's planning on getting me whipped into shape once and for all! Our boat is in the shop getting fixed and all of the warm, lazy days of summer will be here before we know it and I want to look my best and be ready to have the best summer of my life!! Any support/encouragement/suggestions will be much appreciated as I once again try to make it happen! Who's with me?!